Eddow parish book, entry for 9 March 1811: 'Four pewter plates, one pail and the Widow Garrick's second-best door, gone in the night. Door not found. Hinges found, clean.' The clerk underlined clean, though nobody in Eddow needed the help. When hinges come back bright as new spoons and the oak around them has turned to a wet yellow stain, an ochre jelly has been through. The hens stop laying a day ahead of it. Dogs plant their feet at one cellar step and will not be carried down. The stone sweats a film the color of old mustard, and the film dries to flakes like cracked varnish.
What Eddow does about it is mostly refusal. No one lends a hatchet, billhook or spade edge to a neighbor with a jelly in the cellar, and no one swings one at it themselves, since every cut leaves two where there was one. The thing is pushed out with a wooden shovel and burned in a trough of lamp oil at the end of the lane. Anything that slips away can be followed by its film, which runs along the foot of a wall in a line as straight as a ruled margin. The vestry spent two winter meetings deciding who must scrape the pew it had crossed. The minute gives the vote as six to five, and the five were the families who sat in that pew.
I measured one in the Nab Cut culvert with a carpenter's rule laid along a plank, which I slid across its back from a dry ledge: thirty-four inches across, eight deep at the middle. The near end of the plank came out thinned to the shape of a spoon. It was working through a drowned lamb at the time, and beside it lay a horseshoe from some earlier loss, scoured bright.
Eddow holds that the jelly hunts iron. It does not. Hinges and plates come back polished because it has eaten the tallow, leather, hemp and wood around them, and the metal was only scoured in passing. Ansel Hurd laid a dozen nails beside a ruined sill for a season to show me, and none had changed but in shine. What it wants is anything that was once alive. That is why the loft of the Eddow vestry is a puzzle: it climbed there in April and sat a night above the psalters, which are calfskin, without touching one. What was it waiting for?
- Classification
- Ooze, acidic and slow
- Habitat
- Cellars, culverts, wet limestone
- Danger
- Moderate
- Size
- 34 inches across, 8 inches deep
- Activity
- Nocturnal
- Realm
- Damp lowland parishes
- Binomial
- Gelatina ochracea
- Diet
- Wood, leather, hide, carrion
- Temperament
- Patient and blindly persistent










